Mysteries Of Life
by Chezza
Summary: By CeCeSmith. Some twenty odd levels beneath the earth’s surface, Colonel Samantha Carter was having a bad day.
1. Story Info and Disclaimer

**Title:** Mysteries of Life 

**Author:** CeCe Smith

**E-mail:** cecesmith (at) hotmail (dot) com

**Category:** Humour/Fluff

**Rating:** PG

**Pairing:** S/J UST/Friendship

**Season:** Eight

**Spoilers:** None

**Characters:** Sam Carter

**Warnings:** Fluff!Alert

**Summary:** Some twenty odd levels beneath the earth's surface, Colonel Samantha Carter was having a bad day.

**Archive:** Chezza's Gate, Helio, fanfiction (dot) net, Gateworld.

**Disclaimer:** Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions---wish I could have just an itty-bitty piece, but am forced to be satisfied as a spectator.

**Authors Notes:** This is for Chezza…Happy Birthday!!! Beta-read by Chezza, who says: "I love it! Thanks, hon."

**© CeCe Smith, Nov 2004**

o0o


	2. Mysteries Of Life

o0o 

Some twenty odd levels beneath the earth's surface, Colonel Samantha Carter was having a bad day.

It had actually started out rather well, which was why her current mood was so foul. Her day had begun with a surprise phone call from her brother Mark in San Diego. She then stopped for a bagel and cup of coffee at her favorite eatery.

Finally arriving at the base, she had made her way to her lab without any complications, only to find several folders, seven to be exact, sitting on her desk. She knew she had finished her paperwork the evening before, so this new stack must have been delivered after she had left.

To be honest, it had put a slight damper on her good mood, but not enough to warrant a change of heart. She was still determined to make the most of the day. When she paused to read the note attached to the top file, a twinge of ire and disappointment couldn't be denied.

**"Carter,  
Need further clarification… In other words, write it in English please.  
Thanx, O."**

The fact that she had written these reports up for the General three days ago annoyed her a bit. She had finished them and put them on his desk for review, hoping to be done with them.

Obviously not.

What really irked her was that she had written them exactly the same way she had always written her reports. She knew darn good and well that he could understand the verbiage used, he was just being difficult.

"Another perk of Command," she could hear him say.

"Fine," Sam said aloud to the empty room. "We'll play this your way."

Sitting down in the chair, she opened the first file and began to rewrite, in plain English, her entire report. She made sure to use only two or three syllable words and wrote in very short sentences. After she had completed it, she re-read her work.

It now read like a comic book. He would love it.

Having accomplished her task of the reports, Sam was just about to start researching the most recent naquadriah readings when her phone rang.

"Carter."

"Uh, yes, uh Colonel, this is uh, Doctor Felger, could you come to my lab, uh, I mean, the lab"

Sam sighed and with a faint smile, said, "I'll be right there."

She hung up the phone and made her way down Felger's lab.

o0o

She should have known.

In all honesty, she should have realized that any attempt at having a peaceful, uneventful day would be sabotaged.

Usually she had more control over her emotions, but now, as she waited somewhat impatiently for the elevator to arrive, she found herself clenching her fists tightly. Her knuckles white from the pressure, she strived to maintain decorum.

The last thing she needed today of all days was to lose her composure in front of junior officers and civilians.

She knew that Jay Felger had that kind of effect on many people on base, but she had never counted herself as one of them. General O'Neill openly opposed the scientist, but allowed him to remain based solely on Sam's recommendation.

Now she wished she hadn't tried so hard to keep the goofball. He deliberately used her good nature against her. His secret relationship with his assistant Chloe had done nothing to curb his _'affection'_ and _'adoration'_ of the famous Samantha Carter. He was in awe of her and it was beginning to make her sick.

She did not need this today. In her head, she could hear another voice saying the same thing.

"I so do not need this today."

Maybe the General was right; maybe they would be better off letting the _'mad'_ scientist go. Except, it was highly improbable that the man could keep a secret, let alone National Security.

She had to face reality; she was stuck with him. And it was her own darn fault.

Sam knew that Jay didn't intentionally grate on her every nerve. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could just talk to her like a normal person, but the fact remained that he could barely speak to her without gazing at her with puppy dog eyes.

It unnerved her and made her extremely uncomfortable to be seen as an object of beauty.

She thought of herself as a scientist first, Air Force officer secondly, and lastly as a woman.

Everyone else seemed to understand that, why couldn't he?

With a ding, the elevator arrived and she stepped into the car. She had managed to regain a measure of emotional control and decided that a cup of coffee would help even more.

o0o

Arriving back at her lab with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and an apple in the other, Sam entered the room and stopped dead in her tracks.

There, sitting on her desk, were three boxes. They were wrapped in plain brown packaging paper and varied in size from small to large. The smallest box was a 4x4in square and had a handwritten 2 on it. The middle box was rectangular, approximately 8in by 2in. and had a note stating _'Open first'_. The third box was the size of a single ream of paper and had a 3 on it.

Careful not to tear the paper, she began to unwrap the middle box. Having removed the paper, she studied at the plain white box. It gave no clue as to what lay inside.

Unable to contain her curiosity, she opened the box slowly, peaking into the dark interior.  
With furrowed brow and a slight frown, she lifted the lid away and stared in wonder.

Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined receiving such a gift. There, in the bottom of the slim box lay a fork.

A fork.

Granted, it was somewhat ornate with its carving of flowers in the handle, but it was still a fork.

Who on earth, or any other planet, would give her a fork?

Shaking her head, she turned to the next box, and foregoing any trepidation, tore the paper and opened the lid. Sam was taken aback when it revealed another box… Of Jello mix.

Blue Jello mix.

She was so stunned, that she barely noticed the small note attached to the Jello.

"Hope you like."

Sam could barely contain the giggle that threatened to erupt. Determined to figure out the meaning of the strange presents, she hurriedly opened the last box.

To say that she was puzzled would be an understatement. The contents of the final container caused her to laugh aloud, as did the slip of paper attached to it.

"Just in case." Read the note taped to a box of cake mix.

Chocolate cake mix.

Giggling almost hysterically, Sam wiped at the tears that slipped down her cheeks. After the encounter with Felger, she had to admit that she had needed that release.

She knew without a doubt who the boxes had been from and why, but the attempt to remain anonymous made the gesture so much sweeter.

o0o

Finishing the day without further interruption, Sam picked up her 'gift filled' briefcase, turned off the light in her lab and made her way out of the mountain. She drove toward home, stopping only to retrieve the carry out order of Chinese she had called in before leaving the SGC.

She pulled up to the curb in front of her house, turned off the ignition and grabbed the bag of food, along with her purse. She took the mail from her mailbox and proceeded up the path to the porch.

She had inserted the key in the lock when she noticed an object at her feet.

There, on the welcome mat at the front door, sat a brown paper wrapped box.

With a shake of her head, she reached down and picked up the gift. Opening the door, Sam carried her load into the kitchen and set everything on the counter.

Not waiting another minute, she ripped the paper and lifted the lid. Inside the box sat a tub of _'Death by Chocolate'_ frosting.

Overcome with giggles, Sam slid gracelessly to the floor, all the while holding the box. She hugged it to her and laughed heartily.

Finally regaining her composure, she looked into the box again, only then noticing the yellow post-it note inside the lid. It was truly the Icing on the Cake.

"Happy Birthday!"

**End.**


End file.
